Saying Goodbye

I have wanted to write a reflection blog since I got home, but I have not had a clue where to begin.  However, today I was asked a question that I think will help me write this.  Today we had a church picnic at Beaver Lake.  During this, Pastor asked us what moment God felt the most real to us (besides a death or birth).  My answer came to me immediately, but it surprised me as it was not something I had really reflected on. 

This moment happened for me my first Sunday in Haiti.  I was feeling a little discouraged because I had been there for a couple of days, and I had not really seen any familiar faces.  I was sitting in church and my eyes met the eyes of a little boy.  The little boy I had fallen in love with three years prior.  The little boy I had thought continuously about.  The little boy who changed my perspective on life.  The little boy who I wondered if I would ever see again.  I saw the realness of God in James’s smile (and my own) when our eyes met, and we realized we were together again.

This summer I saw James almost everyday.  I quickly became friends with his brother Niason, and towards the end of my trip I became friends with another brother Richie.  I have talked a lot about how much spending time with them meant to me, however, I do not think I realized the full extent of this until I had to leave.  I can easily say that leaving those two little boys behind was the hardest thing for me.  My last night there I found Niason and Josiah (the executive director’s son who I also fell in love with) and went to tell them goodbye.  I held it together and all was good until I went to walk away.  I had gotten maybe fifteen feet away, and both boys ran to me and buried their heads into my side crying.  I sat down on the ground and just cried with them.  In the middle of this, Niason slipped a bracelet off his wrist and onto mine.  I still wear it not just as a reminder of Haiti, but also as a reminder of the love I felt there and the friendships I made.  The three of us finally collected ourselves, but I still had to say goodbye to James.  I found him and said goodbye.  The tears that began rolling down his cheeks absolutely broke my heart.  As I sat there just holding him, I realized how much he truly meant to me.  I love this little boy with my whole heart, and nothing will ever change that.  While I am thankful that I was able to see how much I also meant to him, it made it that much harder to leave. I know I was not much of a comfort as I was bawling myself.  However, I needed him to hug me just as much as he needed me to hug him.

Not a day goes by where I do not wish I was back with these boys.  However, I rest in the peace of knowing that God is in control.  I know in my heart that I will be with them again.  It may not be as soon as I would like, but God’s timing is best.  He has more in store for me in Haiti, and I cannot wait to see what else He has planned.  I have learned so much and been changed in so many ways this summer.  However, I think the most impactful way is finally realizing that God truly does have it under control.  He makes the plan, and I merely need to follow it.  Right now He has shown me that His plan includes Haiti, and that is what I will continue working towards. 

Thank you so much for your support, prayers, and encouragement this summer.  I cannot describe how much you all have meant to me during this journey.  I do not think that I could have done it without you.  

My Last Day

Well I've been putting off blogging. I keep telling myself I don't want to spend the time on it, however, truthfully I just want to stay in denial about leaving. Today is my last day in Haiti. How crazy is that? I feel like I got off the plane yesterday. This has easily been the best summer of my life. I have changed, grown, and most importantly increased my relationship with Christ. I am so very thankful for this opportunity. 

This week has been full of "lasts."  My last time going to Bonneau, my last time going to the market, my last time going to Ansefalour, my last Bible Study. This has definitely given me a different perspective on things. I have felt like I have needed to cherish each moment even more. Thankfully, God has given me many moments to cherish. I have been able to spend a lot of time loving on and being loved be my friends outside the mission and inside the mission. I am going to miss my boys outside, James and Niason, the Miriam Center kids, and so many more. Yesterday I was able to revisit the baby in Ansefalour. The baby has been sick, so I was able to pray with him and his mom. I was so glad I got to see them again! 

My real story, and the thing that got me to blog, is the boys Bible study. Tuesday, one of the group members lead a great Bible study where the boys were able to talk about their hopes and dreams. It was so cool to hear what they want to do and to realize they have dreams just like everyone else. Well yesterday I was able to lead Bible study. I shared my testimony with the boys about how going to church and loving God isn't what will get you to Heaven. I shared about having to have the specific moment where you ask God to come into your heart. After I shared my story, I asked if anyone hadn't had that moment but wanted to. My friend Kiki raised his hand. It was such and honor and blessing to be able to walk him through the Romans Road and pray with him. I am so incredibly excited, and I know the angels are rejoicing with me! 

Well I am off to spend my last day in Haiti. It is incredibly bittersweet, but I am looking forward to seeing what incredible things God has in store for today!

The Little Things

Today I received a note that meant something indescribable to me.  The note said:

"From: Jims To: Torey I love you Torey.  Today give me a big hug.  If you dont give me a big hug than you will be in big truble.  Frend for life.  Win are you going to go home.  I love you Torey so much.  You were sick and you dint tell me.  I pray for you.  You pray for me.  Bey bey."


This note is from James, or Jims, my very first Haitian friend.  It seems like just yesterday that I was getting off the bus from Ansefalour, and I saw him for the first time.  Being able to continue my relationship with him has been the biggest blessing this summer.  I cannot believe how much he has grown up these past three years.  This note meant the world to me because it showed me that I meant as much to him, as he means to me.  This little note written on a ripped up paper with crayon is the greatest treasure I will take home from Haiti with me.

Early Monday morning the groups left.  They took with them half of our interns.  It seems so quiet here without the groups, and it also feels like a piece of us is missing without the interns.  I already miss them like crazy, but I am so thankful I was able to spend the summer with them.

Today was such a fun day for the interns that are left.  Melonnie (the travel coordinator) told us about a hike she wanted us to go on.  She told us it was going to be super easy, more like a walk.  We went, and it was beautiful.  However, we spent the whole time walking on mud and wet rocks which were extremely slippery.  Melonnie was the first one to wipe out, and it all went downhill from there.  Kelly wiped out next and landed on a thorn bus.  Caitlin asked her if she had thorns in her butt, and we all cracked up deeming that as something you only ask in Haiti.  At one point, we were on a really steep part.  Morgan started sliding down and yelled "nooo, I didn't want to fall!!" On the same slope, I started sliding which made Caitlin slide.  Instead of being a gentleman and helping, Spencer moved out of the way.  I am pretty sure everyone fell, slipped, or tripped multiple times throughout the trip.  I also fell once we were back on the main road.  The Haitians thought it was hilarious, and one girl followed me announcing I was the girl who just fell.  I truly do not think that I have ever laughed as hard as I did today.  When we got back, we were able to eat a delicious meal at a restaurant about forty minutes away.  The food was amazing, but the company was even better.  I am so thankful for this group of people that have become my family.

I cannot believe I only have ten days left in Haiti.  It seems so crazy to me that my time is coming to an end.  I feel like I just got here to start my summer.  Today I was reminded of the greatest of God in all the little things.  From a note, to laughter, to yummy food, to silly songs, to beautiful sunsets, to passing a revival on the way home.. God is in everything.  This country, full of evil and darkness, is even more full with the greatness of the one and true God, and oh how He loves us.  My challenge for you is to seek Him in the little things.